goodbye, 2009.

It's weird to say that I'm grateful for 2009.


And glad that it happened.


but, I am.

Don't get me wrong, there are several events in 2009 that I wished would have never happened. But, they did.

{You know it's been a bad year when your mother says to skip out on the 2009 update with the Christmas card, because we don't have anything happy to tell anyone. Well, other than, 'Larry's still working from home and loving it..'}

Throughout this year, I have learned such important lessons
In addition to this list made in May,
I have learned that you are never alone.
Despite how alone you may feel, there is always one who knows exactly what you are feeling.
I have learned that my grandmother is amazing.
And I look up to her, and her ability to still be able to smile and laugh, even though no one in the room can understand her.
I have learned that the Johnson family is the strongest family in the world.
I remember walking away, confused, at how I wanted to help them feel more comforted, but walked away feeling more comforted than I ever could have offered to them.
I have learned that the temple is the closest place to heaven on earth.
And that I will forever live my life in a way where I will always have a recommend.
I have learned that blogs are great. And have been my therapy throughout this year.
I have learned that attitude and confidence affect everything.
Especially with your ability to learn and grow.
I have learned what it feels like to be a burnt-out first year teacher, without even being a first-year teacher. Thanks to being sick, mostly. And the lesson learned directly above this one.
I have learned that Iron & Wine and Sigur Ros are wonderful.
And I have learned that sometimes life is just meant to endured.
And that everything will be okay.
You just need to look at it with an eternal perspective.
And all your negative thoughts, insecurities, disappointments, pains, and tears disappear.
I promise.

This will be me on Saturday, hopefully.
(Well minus the blonde hair and pixie dust)

Please, 2010.
Be a little easier than 2009.

pictures via

oh, he's a good one.

...that santa

(or satan, as samuel calls him)

because this upcoming january we'll be here -

and the january after (maybe) we'll be here -



and i can go shopping here -




and now i don't feel at all guilty about buying this.



thank you, santa (s).

(i'm pretty sure that i have three santas that come to my house)

my new best friend.

his name is skrapshtebazilenerual2.



he's super fun.
and probably the best best friend I've ever had.
and we play a lot.
and he goes everywhere with me.
i don't even miss skraps the first that much.

(my dad's way jealous of our new friendship)

december is for birthdays. . .

yesterday was the nineteenth.
that means it was my grandfather's birthday.



This is my grandpa, JL.
He was a principal.

My grandpa is one of my best friends.
After all, he was the second person I told about my first kiss on the way to st. george.
(my parents and sisters count as one person, I just decided)
He is one who recommends me to read certain books.
We've been on lots of many road trips.
Been to auctions. Named cows after me and my best friend, Erika.
(even though he didn't tell me that those cows were the very same ones that were in my basement freezer)
We go out to lunch or dinner at least once a month.
From him I've learned
To always be happy. And smile. And laugh.
That when he says that he'll throw you out the window, he's just pretending.
About Jeffrey the Monkey and his many adventures.
That it is possible for someone to know the name of every player on every team in every sport.
{I promise, it's true.}
To always smell the ground before you set your sleeping bag on the floor of an old apartment (actually, I think he may have learned that one from me)
That when you're working hard, nothing is better and easier than slim fasts and v8.
What happened to the three marines when they ate the beans. . .
That if you ever think you are good at Monopoly, my grandpa is better. Always.
The key to get rich.
Well, not the actual key to get rich. But that there is one.
I think it has something to do with cows, monopoly, macadamia nuts and paint.
and that Almond Rocas, Sees candies, and Sour Cream Twists are really yummy.

Oh, I love my spanky grandpa.
He's the best.

(Even though one time he tried to poison us with dog food. But that's a story for another time...)



today is the twentieth.
that means that it is my mother's birthday.


meet little stefanie.
{the daughter of aforementioned JL}

isn't she a cutie cutie?

On Mother's Day, I wrote this for my mother.
She is a cutie cutie, huh?
I still stand by every word I said
(except that she made her children drink hormone-free milk. I found out that that only lasted a month or two)

She is a wise woman.
And she hand-quilts,
Claims she was born in the wrong era,
And, come January, she will be working much closer.
Because she loves us so much.


Love you, mother.

'dedicated to every single girl in the whole world'

oh, I love that this boy is home now.


{this boy is named fred}
fred is greg's best friend in the whole entire world

so we can find, watch, and laugh until we cry at lost videos like this:




reminisce about alex's christmas parties,
landon's deep voice when he wants something,
dave and that one time that he couldn't go to guitar center,
jacob on that one awkward date,
everything about greg (obviously) -,
and the disneyland trip that I didn't go on, but remember it like I was there,
(but mostly glad that I wasn't there)

burgess park barbecues,
this picture taken at a burgess park barbecue,


this show,


and all of our other high school/post high school activities,
and also plan for super awesome parties to come in the future and this summer.

I'm excited for the rest of the gang to be home.


I sure have missed them.

{well mostly greg}
but I still miss jacob, dave, landon, and alex quite a bit.
















(greg and I laughed super hard at these two photos probably once every two months)
oh, they're the greatest

christmastime.

real christmas tree
+
hot chocolate and herbal tea
+
flannel sheets
+
joshua james/sufjan stevens/harry connick/brian setzer christmas tunes
+
snow falling
=
a really excited me.

even though, I already know what Santa Claus is bringing me.
I'm still sick.
our advent calendar is crooked, and I already know what candy is behind Christmas.
my Christmas is a little bit blue.
I live in the {very cold} basement.

It's just the feeling of Christmas.
of love.
of giving.
and Him.

and that makes me extremely happy, even merry.

goodbye, logan

goodbye, dorm
goodbye, dorm friends
goodbye, grocery shopping
goodbye, cold temperatures
goodbye, messy kitchen
goodbye, education building
goodbye, logan city library
goodbye, brother jacobs
goodbye, hockey games
goodbye, MLMS
goodbye, mean registrar lady
goodbye, bicycle (i hope your new owner treats you well)
goodbye, aggie shuttle
goodbye, old main hill
goodbye, woodruff elementary, providence elementary, edith bowen, and cedar ridge middle
goodbye, logan friends
goodbye, free (kind of) gym
goodbye, tsc
goodbye, bishop reed
goodbye, tummi yummis
goodbye, bluezone network
goodbye, logan graveyard
goodbye, teachers
goodbye, nathan from the yetc lab
goodbye, 'A'
goodbye, firehouse
goodbye, sardine canyon

i will sure miss you.

hello, utah county
i am glad that we can be friends again.

i'll miss you, boys.

it's been 2 1/2 years.

that i've worked here.
in an after-school club.

and i've loved every minute of it. (mostly).

starting with the minutes working with dear kevin.
kevin, who i could motivate easier than anyone through snacks and candy bars.
kevin (this still remains my number one favorite story), whom i saw sneaking bags of potato chips into his coat sleeves, and i, wanting to prove that i have eyes in the back of my head, walked up behind him and asked, 'what are you doing, kev?' His reply: 'oh! these potato chips must have fallen into my coat sleeves! i'd better put them back. . . '

and to dear, sweet marco, who i've seen grow up (at least a foot and a half)
and who still remains the sweet, quiet, innocent, and hard-working kid.

to donovan, who is the tiniest punk i've ever seen.

to philip, the biggest flirt of an eighth grader.
who, on many occasions, begged to be my boyfriend.

to austin, who, someday, i will recognize by his photo in the sleeve of a brand new best-seller.

to kayson, who i missed the day they told me he couldn't come to mentoring anymore, because of all of his 'extra help' outside of mentoring. the extra help with the teacher he despised. and the teacher who made fun of him, and who never saw him produce an inch of work. i will never forget his face at that moment. i wish they could have realized all of the help he needed was a little care and trust, and once that comes, he will work for hours.

to taylor, who impressed me everyday with his knowledge from wikipedia, french, and video-games.

to michael, who is just michael.
i will never forget that moment when playing catch phrase, and all of us adults, puzzled at a word, he read it and explained it's meaning in an almost dictionary-perfect definition. whenever he speaks, i think instantly of sheldon cooper.

to juan, jesse, and fernando, who are three of the sweetest boys, despite what teachers say.
i'll always be amazed at juan's skateboarding and video-editing skills, jesse's sense of humor and artistic way about him, and fernando and when he is always the first one to help out.

to fransisco, who i lived for the moments when i could hear that click in his brain, and for the moments that he understood what he was doing in math.

to jorge, who i threw off his schedule today, because it was a wednesday, and i only come on tuesdays and thursdays. from his reaction, it was almost as though he had never been so surprised, or confused, in his entire life.

and to amon, who is new. and from curitiba, brazil. and when he spoke portuguese on the telephone, i got goosebumps.

and i'm so grateful that i didn't yell at you today, david.
i was very close.

oh, little boys, i will surely miss you.
i learned so much from you.
i hope you learned from me.
i know you can succeed in whatever you do
and i hope you realize that.

happy birthday

it is my best friend's birthday today.
he is in brazil.
and the greatest person I have ever known

because

1. he makes anyone laugh harder than they have before.
2. he has the cutest smile i've ever seen.
3. he draws me funny pictures in his letters.
4. he loves the Lord, and is the greatest missionary.
5. he sees good in everyone and never talks negatively.
6. he is a gentleman
7. he is really good at magic tricks.
8. he plays ticket to ride and does puzzles with me.
9. he's the best dancer at stake dances and in my kitchen.
10. he makes me want to be a better person everyday.


and he'll be home in less than two months

happy birthday, gregory stevai

see you soon.

(his friends made this on a shirt for him one year)

my last day.

I will sure miss you, dear little first graders.

I look up to you.

And your strength, happiness, and innocence.

Some of you have had more to deal with in your precious six years of life, than I ever could imagine in my twenty years of life.

I love all of you.
And miss you already.

pretty much amazing

so, my bike got stolen.

I'm pretty sure.

because, today, I ran outside to hurry to my classroom management class to get my bike.
it wasn't there.
I double checked.
I triple checked.

I didn't see it.

The only thing that confuses me is that it was a crappy bike.
Like it wasn't a cute little beach cruiser.
Or a really nice road bike.
Or even a nice mountain bike.
It was just an old scwhinn that my grandpa fixed up for me.
That I loved dearly.

hmmm.
I wonder what will be next?

I do hope it's my printer.

But please, Robot (my laptop), Friend (my tb), Car (my car)
try really hard to stay alive, running, and useful.

funeral for a friend.

for my five year, ten month old ipod, skrapshtebazilenerual.

well, I called him skraps for short.

he died.

the poor boy.
and after five years, i finally caved in and bought him an iHome.
he only got to sleep there once.
the night before he died.

goodbye, skraps.

we sure did have some good times.
like all of those times we went running,
all of those logan drives, you were my constant companion.
you were there for me during my sleepless nights,
and remember how i watched high school musical with you?
that was pretty fun.
and you know, how you helped me clean
i couldn't have done it without you
my friends all loved you too.
but, i knew you were getting old.
slower.
and a bit unresponsive.
and it was your time to go.



it'll be hard to replace you.

(i don't have $200 to spend)