i'm ready ready ready for a break.

i'm tired.
i'm sick.
i've had a good case of the shingles, that are still my constant companions.
i am sniffly and coughy, still.
my room needs major cleaning and packing.
i'm overwhelmed.
i've totally broken out all over my face. it's lovely.
i'm tired.
i have piles and piles of homework/responses/evaluations/lesson plans/blah that need to be completed.
i'm behind in homework.
there are not enough hours in my day.
i have headaches all the time.
i'm tired.
i want to cry.
i probably did cry just a little.
i'm super worried and stressed about the future, even though i tell myself i'm not.
i'm scared of not being a good enough teacher because i'm not preparing well right now.
i'm worried because i have no idea what will happen next year.
and slightly more worried because of everyone's opinions and 'personal experiences' that people change too much in two years.
i don't have a job lined up.
i am tired.
i procrastinate everything.
like. right. now.

but, thanksgiving break is soon.
then the end of this semester.
then christmas break.
and then a cruise.
right before a semester of no school.

but i need to worry about school right. now.

fall 2009. who knew it would be my most difficult semester?
with the fewest (slight exaggeration.) amount of credits i've ever taken? and without (no exaggeration here) a social life?
well, i thought it would be cake.

i was very much mistaken.

(ps. i normally don't just break out. or get headaches. or shingles. or be a bad student)

i am done venting.
that is what blogs are for, right?

I went to the library today and in the non-fiction section of audio-tapes, inbetween autobiographies and biographies was this -

I'm so glad Superman is real.

alone in my apartment

with the exception of friday night, and a couple of hours saturday morning,
I have been alone in my apartment.

It wasn't scary, I mean.

And it's pretty common.
But this weekend, it was a bit comical.

Well first of all, I took my mother's advice to not leave the apartment

Second, I don't think I've changed much.
And probably smell, even though I have taken like 7 showers.

Third, I've been singing really loud and dancing (carefully and not too extreme) to Christmas music.

Fourth, I only leave my bedroom (hopping or dancing) to use the bathroom, or make myself some chicken noodle soup.

Fifth, I have no idea what I did to occupy my time. Because here I am, Sunday night, living in a messy room, realizing that I haven't finished any of my lesson plans, reading responses, or scanning of student work. I mean, I know I watched a couple of movies, took a couple of naps, read a little bit, but seriously?.

And really, because two whole days confined to a small space secluded from the world would make anyone act comical. . .
right?

if you don't ever see me again,

it's because i coughed up a lung,

choked on it,

and died.

but hopefully you do see me again.

And if I do live and recover
(hopefully by monday, please)

I have
Simply Orange (with LOTS of pulp)
You've Got Mail
Sleep
Nyquil
Lexie's SAA water bottle
my cold shower
and my comfortable bed

to thank.



{on the other hand,}
late nights, donuts, and hot chocolate,
please stay away.
I don't think you're helping

the list

(in no particular order)

Life Goal #1 - Get married in the Mt. Timpanogos temple
.
.
Life Goal #10 - Cook every recipe in a cookbook
.
.
.
Life Goal #14 - Zipline through a jungle
.
.
.
Life Goal #23 - See Sigur Ros live
.
.
Life Goal #25 - Live in London
.
.
Life Goal #29 - Spend all day at Barnes and Noble (opening to closing)
.
.
.
Life Goal #34 - Buy a whole large bottle of kimchi
.
.
Life Goal #38 - Run a marathon
.
.
Life Goal #42 - Own a bike with a basket
.
.
.
Life Goal #54 - Make someone believe I'm magic
.
.
.
Friends, it goes on.
I'm so excited.
I love lists
especially the bucket ones

thank you, safety kids

I've always been safe.
thanks to you and your songs

the future.

Right now, It's pretty hard to live in the present. . . .

When the semester ends in six weeks,
I move home in six weeks,
I graduate soon,
Christmas is in 2 months,
We go on a cruise in 3 months,
And G comes home in 3 months

And when my life consists of me going to school, eating, sleeping, checking the mailbox for letters, making lesson plans, drinking hot chocolate, and reading (books and letters).

It's pretty hard.
But I'm trying.
I promise.



And (thanks to my shingles) I've been really trying not to worry. . . I think I'm doing a better job.
But, mostly I'm just super excited.